Five Reasons I Want to Live Alone

Ada

Hey guys!

Okay, I may not have any say concerning this as I’ve never lived alone before but I’ve gotten tastes of it when my roommates or family, are out of the house/room for a while and let me just say, I cannot wait to get my own space (I really don’t care how small or big it’d be, to be honest, I just want to be by myself). I feel like I could be more me and more focused when I’m alone. Also, there’s a huge difference between being alone and being lonely, I feel like most people don’t know this.

Yeah, I’d occasionally get lonely sometimes, especially when people are around but I still want to live on my own, not with my family or with some girls from different parts of the country, just by myself. I have so many reasons for wanting to live alone, I could just easily sum them up to being an introvert but people don’t get it sometimes. So, I decided to share five main reasons for wanting to live alone.

I Can Handle My Emotions In Ways I Know How To

Illustration art by Gregorian Yamada

My thoughts are usually always all over the place and I’m always in a constant state of overthinking or feeling overwhelmed, this does not mean that all this stop when people are no longer in the same space as me. No. But, I can control and handle myself better when they’re away. I’d feel calmer and much more at peace and get to do other things to cope with my anxiety. Whenever my family members are away, I’d usually clean the house or get down to rearranging my room or wardrobe.

I’ve been doing this since I was little and I didn’t realize it was just me being myself and handling my emotions until now, the same thing happens in school whenever my roommates are away. I’d get down to tidying the room (it looks like people throw basic decency out of the window whenever they share a space with someone :/) or paint stuff I couldn’t paint because well, people were around or just get down to reading a book without that low hum(annoying) noise in the background. Doing all these things bring me peace of mind and help me handle my emotions better which is why I’ve always wanted to have my own space.

Listen To Loud Music and Dance (especially when I don’t know how to dance)

Illustration art by Yaoyao Ma Van As

Okay, by loud music, I don’t mean loud enough to disturb your neighbors or the person next door, I mean loud enough for you to enjoy the music and dance to it. I only dance when people are away because I don’t know how to dance. Dancing in front of anybody makes me self-conscious and I don’t really like it. While I won’t call what I do dancing because my dog had the audacity to look away when I decided to grace him with it, I feel much freer and better doing it when people are just not around me and let me tell you guys, it just makes me happy, I can’t explain it but it does. No matter what kind of bad mood I’m in, when I’m alone and I start playing good music that makes me want to move my body, I feel better instantly.

To Learn More About Myself

Illustration art by Nicholle Kobi

There’s a quote that says “our environment greatly influences who we are” and I think that people who are in the same environment with us aren’t left out. While the quote isn’t all black and white and it’s way deeper than it is, I’m applying it to this situation. Sometimes, when living/sharing a space with people, you have to live by certain standards. At some point, you’re modifying and adjusting certain parts of yourself to fit in with them or you have to do things that wouldn’t upset them or make you feel like an outcast.

I’ve been living with people my whole life, my family at home, and with girls from different parts of the country, in school. Anytime I’m changing hostels during a new session, I feel weird because I wouldn’t know where or how to start being me. The first few weeks/month is me being all by myself and not communicating much with any of my new roommates, after that, I start to get comfortable and be myself but not entirely. It’s like I’m holding off these little parts of me that I don’t want to be judged for and maybe, there are other parts of me I don’t even know about and probably wouldn’t get to meet until, well, I live alone and by myself. Does it make sense?

Peace and Quiet

Illustration art by Yaoyao Ma Van As

Some days, you want to bump your head and grace the void with your non-existent dancing skills, other days, you want to have some peace and quiet. You see, the thing about living alone is that you get to choose whenever you want the noise or the silence. In my own case, I’m always looking for the quiet but I don’t really get it much, unless I move away from where people are.

In school, my roommates would be playing music or watching a movie, when I’m trying to read, I don’t speak up about it because we’re sharing the same space after all and should do whatever we want. I close the app and sleep, that’s what I do all the time when people are around, I sleep. I can’t do the things I want/need to because people are around, I don’t know if it’s just me but I feel constricted whenever people are around. It’s like their presence is distracting? And to get away from feeling that way, I just sleep and if you ask any of my roommates from my secondary school and the ones in uni to tell you a little about me, they’d tell you I sleep a lot. Yes, I do but only because that’s the only way I know how to feel at peace when people are around.

The first few months of quarantine, around Mid April to late May, I used to wake up at 6am sharp and I loved it mostly because everyone was sleeping and I could finally get some peace and quiet and fully process my thoughts and emotions. I used to think that I wasn’t a morning person, given that I hated waking up early back in secondary school but it turns out that I just didn’t want anyone else to be up lol. Maybe it’s probably the same reason I stay up at night, because most people would be sleeping. I’m not going to lie, those were one of my favorite times during the entirety of this quarantine. That and finding my mojo to blog once again.

Bottom line is, living alone, I wouldn’t have to be worrying about waking up early because there would be peace and quiet whenever I want it.

No Compromises

Illustration art by Nyanza D

When you live with people, your family, friends, strangers from anywhere, you have to compromise. This also means that no matter how much you hate that room or house or space because a design, furniture arrangement, paint on the wall or whatever, doesn’t sit right with your spirit, you can’t do anything about it because it isn’t your own space. In my hostel, back at uni, the lamp holder directly over my side of the room isn’t working and half of my roommates don’t care about fixing it and I honestly don’t know why.

I decided one day that I’d fix the lamp holder but my roommate objected to it because she didn’t want the light at night and she loved how dark our side was so she wasn’t sacrificing the little privacy she had because of the lack of light. I get her, I do but I’m always up, drawing and working on my projects, at night and using a torch light or my phone was getting bothersome but I couldn’t do anything about it because I don’t want to upset anybody so yeah, I’d just have to tolerate it. Plus, I really can relate to not wanting a bright light over you when you’re sleeping, I hate it too.

I wouldn’t be compromising anything at all if I were living alone though, I can do anything I want to, much to my satisfaction or not. I wouldn’t be worried about upsetting someone or being biased because of someone.

Other reasons include decorating to my own taste and as much as I’d like to, having friends over without feeling like I’m disturbing anybody, I can scream into my pillow when I’m frustrated and not look stupid (it isn’t stupid though), I can read out loud if I wanted to (it helps me sometimes), no nagging and complaints from my parents, I don’t get to live up to anybody’s expectations or be pressured to do certain things and so much more.

Of course there are disadvantages to living alone, like cost of living and security which I keep looking at but hopefully with time, I can handle those things (I don’t know or when – emphasis on “hopefully”). For now, all I can do is keep dreaming about getting my own space and work towards it.

Few of my friends want to live alone, for different kind of reasons. It’s like this big thing we want to check off on our lists. Do you also want to live alone? If so, why?

Thanks for reading

Stay Safe <3.

Published by Ada

Nostalgic. Lover of memes, dogs, books and basically anything that keeps me distracted and happy. Makes love to music and sleep.

55 Comments

  1. I am currently living with my sister but I am so excited to live on my own at some point and just get to know myself better and do all the stuff you mentioned above!

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  2. Living alone is kinda overrated. We are all so eager to live alone, but once you’re living alone you’ll wonder, “what’s next?”

    Right now it’s me and my 3yr old + husband who travels a lot. So most of the time, it’s just me and my daughter. For a while I was living alone when I first moved here. I lived by myself for 7 months.

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      1. I have a few pics of my daughter on my blog but they aren’t recent pics. She will be 4 years old in October. Living alone was weird at first because I had no family living here. She and my husband were living in a different province at the time. It was just me, by myself in this apartment, in this province. It took a while to adjust but it was a smooth transition for the most part.

        To live alone, I think everyone should experience it at some point. I still say it’s overrated 😂 but if it’s temporary, it’s not so bad. I’m used to my own company (grew up having to entertain myself) but there’s still something about having my own place that makes me feel uncomfortable.

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      2. Awh, that’s wonderful! I’ll see them sometime. Oh, wow.
        I think it would be temporary on my part, I don’t really know, lol. I’m used to mine too but I don’t think it’s enough😂. Well, everybody is different :).

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  3. Your dog looked away😂😂

    Honestly, I’ve been looking forward to living alone. I told my friends that once I can afford rent, I’ll go get a house.

    I have similar reasons with you, for wanting to live alone. There are days when noise simply irritates me.
    Also, I want to be able to listen to loud music without being a nuisance.
    I’m a light sleeper, even the sound of feet being dragged, wakes me up. It’s really annoying and when I live alone, that won’t be a problem.

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  4. I really want to live alone for all the same reasons. Also, I just need to recharge by being alone. It’ll help me manage my energy better. Hope you’re able to have a place of your own someday!

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  6. I totally understand and relate to every point! It’s just so much easier and more carefree to not have to adjust for roommates. I’ve tried all sorts or living arrangements too and when you’ve seen it all in the end it’s true you’ll just have enough reason to want your own space 😌 can’t wait to move out of my current one!

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  7. I am a student and I live off campus, I live alone. In the first month it was really lonely but I adapted eventually, I can say with full confidence I wouldn’t trade living alone with a roommate no matter how nice the roommate might be. I have been at home for about 6months because of COVID and I had to readapt staying with my family and all. I wrote about the bitter reality of living alone but even those downside will not make me get a roommate 😂. I completely understand what you mean about living alone, I hope you get that place and get the chance to experience it fully.

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    1. Haha, this is what I really want but I can’t afford to live off campus so I’m just going to hold on until I graduate. I think I wouldn’t also trade living alone for a roommate too😂. Thank you so much❤

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  8. Okay, it’s official your illustration make me feel so fresh, I wanna live alone as well! The reasons that you have of living alone are some of mine too except you forgot to add that you can eat as much as you want— Jk jk Jk not actually. 😂 😂I’m joking 😂 FOR THAT PART ONLY 😂 xx

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  9. Your reasons are very much valid. I know what you mean by feeling constricted when people are around. I’ve always had at least one roommate and I cherish the times when I have the room all to myself. However, I don’t think I’d like to live all alone in an apartment for too long. I’d prefer a house with a flatmate and separate rooms, then at least I’d have company and someone to go disturb sometimes lmao. I love my privacy but I like company too.

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  13. Hmm, I see a lot of perspective on your reasons Ada! They’re very legit. I studied architecture while in school too, and I know how important quietness, music, night lighting and ample space is.

    In school, I had the opportunity to pick my roommates from the lower levels to final year. In fact, I basically had the same roommates and we had mutual understanding of one another.

    There’ll be times I scattered the entire room for my models and they would not go off or get angry.

    Adaeze, I personally think that you should practice speaking up more. You should tell that your pesky roommate the importance of having light to work on your drawings in the nighttime.

    Also, tell them to keep the noise down when you’re trying to read or think. I played a lot of music back in school and I had a Muslim friend who always told me to tone down my music when he wanted to pray. I always did just that.

    Speak more and act more. And when you return to school, fix the lamp if you want to. I bet she can’t do nothing!!!

    Cheers.

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    1. Really? That’s great! I didn’t know.
      We don’t really get the chance here but that’s amazing.
      I can only work in my corner and scatter things on my own bed, most times, I have to leave the room to work in the hostel corridors because there isn’t enough good lightning inside. There are so many problems I have with staying in hostel and living with people but I can only tolerate them.

      I really want to but sometimes, I get tongue tied. I’ll try again when school closes.

      I also do the same thing whenever a roommate is reading too and they don’t even ask sometimes.

      Ah, thank you for your kind words, Emmanuel. I’ll really try to speak up more when I go back to school. Thank you❤.

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  14. I live alone .i love it so much. Everything you mentioned is the reason. But my old friends never under me being an introvert. Even when one was cutting me off she said “Abi you like being alone…. Enjoy it “oh well. Just being with other people frustrates me and I can choose to ignore anyone that knocks. The end

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  15. I live alone in school and I love it! The thought of having to spend more than I would love to at home gives me crippling anxiety(I love my family though).thats why I will move out as soon as I’m done with school 😫.
    However,Leaving alone can get lonely sometimes for me,you get to enjoy all of the things you mentioned for a certain period of time,you tend to clean out your space when people aren’t there how about when you are completely alone you wouldn’t do that over and over again as well as other things you mentioned. Regardless I’d choose living alone a billion times over living with people.

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  16. I could relate to every word you have written.. just a small difference.. i like to stay up late for that alone peaceful me-time, cause im not a morning person.. very well written post! Loved it!

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  17. I definitely agree with this post, and I feel that living alone would be a preferred option for myself too. With the environment, I understand that some people may like living with others because this influences them positively, but with others it is better for ourselves to be living alone so we have that space.

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  18. Pingback: August Highlights – the wordy habitat

  19. I’m a talker so living alone will really be hard for me. I enjoy the face to face conversations with my family ar home, with my roomate in school, etc. One thing that I’d enjoy though if I lived alone is playing loud music 24/7… I love earpiece music but when the noise is all over… damnnn!!!

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  21. In my point of view, Living alone can give so much of freedom. But I don’t think living alone is that of fun but it can definitely help us to become independent and to build ourselves at a time.

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  22. Good read, I feel you…I too want to live alone but the closest I’ve gotten to that is living off camp with just a room mate early this year (it’s been 9 years of living in the hostel) and frankly speaking, I want to have my OWN space where I can hang stuff where I likeee, cook when I want and re-paint my room when I’m tired.

    Having to live with even one person who is not a sibling is harddddddd…so much compromising just so you won’t come off as annoying or hard to deal with, I’m not introverted so I can easily voice out but I try to adapt to a lot of things just because of the above.

    I hope to get my own space in the future cos of the little cute things I want to do to it in my head although I honestly feel that when I have my own space, I’ll hardly bring any of those thoughts to life…let me not jinx it though.

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    1. I think if I were to live with someone, it’d be one of my best friends. It’d be so much easier than living with someone that is just an acquaintance.

      Haha, and I get you on that one. I know living alone can be expensive and I’d probably not get to do some of what I want to do but it’s still going to be worth it.

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  23. I totally relate with you. While I’ve had an experience living on my own when my flatmate is away but it isn’t really the same. I really crave to have my own space which is just mine. I can set it up how I like and spend time with myself in that space. I totally get the comparison bit too – I feel this weird peer pressure having other people around. Eg: if my flatmate is going out on a Friday night I feel this pressure to do something even though I just want to Netflix and literally chill!
    Can’t wait to get my own place. I hope you do too! ☺️

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  24. Beautiful illustrations! Thank you for sharing. As a true blue introvert, I think it is so often misunderstood. I specifically enjoyed what you said about knowing the difference between feeling lonely and being alone. We are social creatures, yes, but my introversion is so strong that being around others physically drains me and my ability to stand upright.

    I have lived with a big family, lived with roommates, and lived alone. Living alone certainly has it’s perks. It is truly a blessing to come and go as you please, self regulate your emotions, and have no one to answer to but yourself. Your home should be your sanctuary away from the outside world.

    I’m fortunate in that I fell in love with a fellow introvert. As much as we love to partake and share, we also enjoy being calm, quiet, and off to some other part of the house with complete peace of mind the other isn’t questioning it.

    I hope all your self discovery comes true.

    ~Jaymie

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    1. Thank you so much Jamie. I’m glad you found someone who understands you and can feel the same things you do, it’s rare today.
      I’m still in uni and my views about living alone are still the same but I’m sure when it’s time for me to share my space with someone for the rest of my life, I’d be able to do it after discovering what’s best for me.

      All the best and thank you for reading.

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      1. Wow! Thank you for such a heartfelt response. It’s definitely difficult to share your living space, even with people you really love and mesh well with. Some part of me will always be a solitary animal, but I love and value my companionship where it counts. You will find your way. ❤️

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  25. I live alone for the 1st time in my life and I am completely sold. I never and I mean, ever, want to live with anyone else in my life. I mean I do love my family and loved ones but this just feels way too good. I am totally introverted and loooooooooove to spend long amounts of time alone. It fuels me…I absolutely must have it and often. I’ve lived alone since 2018 and also relocated to a new state (Florida) all by myself….I wanted to live near the beach so I had to move away from the midwest…plus the winters were just way too cold in St. Louis. Great article…thanks for pouring out your heart about wanting to live alone!

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