Okay, I may not have any say concerning this as I’ve never lived alone before but I’ve gotten tastes of it when my roommates or family, are out of the house/room for a while and let me just say, I cannot wait to get my own space (I really don’t care how small or big it’d be, to be honest, I just want to be by myself). I feel like I could be more me and more focused when I’m alone. Also, there’s a huge difference between being alone and being lonely, I feel like most people don’t know this.
Yeah, I’d occasionally get lonely sometimes, especially when people are around but I still want to live on my own, not with my family or with some girls from different parts of the country, just by myself. I have so many reasons for wanting to live alone, I could just easily sum them up to being an introvert but people don’t get it sometimes. So, I decided to share five main reasons for wanting to live alone.
I Can Handle My Emotions In Ways I Know How To
My thoughts are usually always all over the place and I’m always in a constant state of overthinking or feeling overwhelmed, this does not mean that all this stop when people are no longer in the same space as me. No. But, I can control and handle myself better when they’re away. I’d feel calmer and much more at peace and get to do other things to cope with my anxiety. Whenever my family members are away, I’d usually clean the house or get down to rearranging my room or wardrobe.
I’ve been doing this since I was little and I didn’t realize it was just me being myself and handling my emotions until now, the same thing happens in school whenever my roommates are away. I’d get down to tidying the room (it looks like people throw basic decency out of the window whenever they share a space with someone ) or paint stuff I couldn’t paint because well, people were around or just get down to reading a book without that low hum(annoying) noise in the background. Doing all these things bring me peace of mind and help me handle my emotions better which is why I’ve always wanted to have my own space.
Listen To Loud Music and Dance (especially when I don’t know how to dance)
Okay, by loud music, I don’t mean loud enough to disturb your neighbors or the person next door, I mean loud enough for you to enjoy the music and dance to it. I only dance when people are away because I don’t know how to dance. Dancing in front of anybody makes me self-conscious and I don’t really like it. While I won’t call what I do dancing because my dog had the audacity to look away when I decided to grace him with it, I feel much freer and better doing it when people are just not around me and let me tell you guys, it just makes me happy, I can’t explain it but it does. No matter what kind of bad mood I’m in, when I’m alone and I start playing good music that makes me want to move my body, I feel better instantly.
To Learn More About Myself
There’s a quote that says “our environment greatly influences who we are” and I think that people who are in the same environment with us aren’t left out. While the quote isn’t all black and white and it’s way deeper than it is, I’m applying it to this situation. Sometimes, when living/sharing a space with people, you have to live by certain standards. At some point, you’re modifying and adjusting certain parts of yourself to fit in with them or you have to do things that wouldn’t upset them or make you feel like an outcast.
I’ve been living with people my whole life, my family at home, and with girls from different parts of the country, in school. Anytime I’m changing hostels during a new session, I feel weird because I wouldn’t know where or how to start being me. The first few weeks/month is me being all by myself and not communicating much with any of my new roommates, after that, I start to get comfortable and be myself but not entirely. It’s like I’m holding off these little parts of me that I don’t want to be judged for and maybe, there are other parts of me I don’t even know about and probably wouldn’t get to meet until, well, I live alone and by myself. Does it make sense?
Peace and Quiet
Some days, you want to bump your head and grace the void with your non-existent dancing skills, other days, you want to have some peace and quiet. You see, the thing about living alone is that you get to choose whenever you want the noise or the silence. In my own case, I’m always looking for the quiet but I don’t really get it much, unless I move away from where people are.
In school, my roommates would be playing music or watching a movie, when I’m trying to read, I don’t speak up about it because we’re sharing the same space after all and should do whatever we want. I close the app and sleep, that’s what I do all the time when people are around, I sleep. I can’t do the things I want/need to because people are around, I don’t know if it’s just me but I feel constricted whenever people are around. It’s like their presence is distracting? And to get away from feeling that way, I just sleep and if you ask any of my roommates from my secondary school and the ones in uni to tell you a little about me, they’d tell you I sleep a lot. Yes, I do but only because that’s the only way I know how to feel at peace when people are around.
The first few months of quarantine, around Mid April to late May, I used to wake up at 6am sharp and I loved it mostly because everyone was sleeping and I could finally get some peace and quiet and fully process my thoughts and emotions. I used to think that I wasn’t a morning person, given that I hated waking up early back in secondary school but it turns out that I just didn’t want anyone else to be up lol. Maybe it’s probably the same reason I stay up at night, because most people would be sleeping. I’m not going to lie, those were one of my favorite times during the entirety of this quarantine. That and finding my mojo to blog once again.
Bottom line is, living alone, I wouldn’t have to be worrying about waking up early because there would be peace and quiet whenever I want it.
When you live with people, your family, friends, strangers from anywhere, you have to compromise. This also means that no matter how much you hate that room or house or space because a design, furniture arrangement, paint on the wall or whatever, doesn’t sit right with your spirit, you can’t do anything about it because it isn’t your own space. In my hostel, back at uni, the lamp holder directly over my side of the room isn’t working and half of my roommates don’t care about fixing it and I honestly don’t know why.
I decided one day that I’d fix the lamp holder but my roommate objected to it because she didn’t want the light at night and she loved how dark our side was so she wasn’t sacrificing the little privacy she had because of the lack of light. I get her, I do but I’m always up, drawing and working on my projects, at night and using a torch light or my phone was getting bothersome but I couldn’t do anything about it because I don’t want to upset anybody so yeah, I’d just have to tolerate it. Plus, I really can relate to not wanting a bright light over you when you’re sleeping, I hate it too.
I wouldn’t be compromising anything at all if I were living alone though, I can do anything I want to, much to my satisfaction or not. I wouldn’t be worried about upsetting someone or being biased because of someone.
Other reasons include decorating to my own taste and as much as I’d like to, having friends over without feeling like I’m disturbing anybody, I can scream into my pillow when I’m frustrated and not look stupid (it isn’t stupid though), I can read out loud if I wanted to (it helps me sometimes), no nagging and complaints from my parents, I don’t get to live up to anybody’s expectations or be pressured to do certain things and so much more.
Of course there are disadvantages to living alone, like cost of living and security which I keep looking at but hopefully with time, I can handle those things (I don’t know or when – emphasis on “hopefully”). For now, all I can do is keep dreaming about getting my own space and work towards it.
Few of my friends want to live alone, for different kind of reasons. It’s like this big thing we want to check off on our lists. Do you also want to live alone? If so, why?
Thanks for reading
Stay Safe <3.