My First Year in University Experience: On Making Friends and Social Life

Hey guys! It’s been 10080 minutes (I hate maths so don’t think I did this without any help). I’ve been hanging in there, it seems. Tired of saying this but it is what it is. I hope you’ve been fine and doing better than I was. Let’s get into today’s post. It’s pretty long so grab a coffee, tea or any beverage drink. You know what? Just grab something.

Back in secondary school, you can say I was one of the few people people who were super hyped and couldn’t wait to get into university. Back then, I used to think that being in the university is some kind of life achievement, that I’d be all grown up and have figured out life and shit like that, you know? I was thinking “that moment when I’d finally become a real adult. I’d graduate and get a job and work my ass of until die.” Pretty sad and hilarious. Ugh. How naive and clueless I was. Lmao.

In secondary school, being an introvert and having anxiety wasn’t really much of a problem for me. My friends and classmates had no problems with it either. The only time anxiety was a problem was when I had to read something in front of the other students or say a prayer/read the gospel (we got randomly appointed sometimes). That’s in the past and I have this particular story where I was really humiliated but I’d share it some other day.

So, I graduated secondary school and unfortunately didn’t cut the list for the university of my choice. I had to stay back at home, for a whole year. It was just like taking a gap year I guess but I did nothing meaningful during that time and I kinda regret it. I was beyond depressed around that time too (if you have Nigerian parents, you’d understand). It wasn’t easy being caged at home, I couldn’t even go out, whenever I did, my parents would descend on me with words and what not. It was honestly tiring and exhausting.

I met a few people outside when I could and online too. I guess my being quite and reserved was hard to ignore? and most times, they’d bring it up in conversations. Asking questions like “why are you so quiet?” “is it because you went to a boarding school?” I’d say it was just how I was or something like that and most of them would tell me “just wait until you get into university. It is your type that change alot.” Well, that was really creepy and ignorant but back then, I didn’t see it like that.

I kinda agreed with them because I’d seen stuff like that in movies and read them in books. The introverted character would always end up being not so introverted anymore. They’d end up with the “wrong crowd” when they got into university. I started to think I wasn’t really as reserved and quiet as I liked to think. I thought that it had something to do with my parents being all strict and me being in boarding school and so on. So, the few months before I was to go to my school (I’d gotten admitted, yay), I spent it day dreaming and imagining this new version of myself. I was rogue and free and had as much fun as I wanted. I finally went to parties and had the kinda fun that normal people seemed to have. Yep. That’s pretty much what I thought was going to happen when I’d start. Well, I got in when I was 17 and I nothing much changed.

On Making Friends

Image from Pinterest

When I arrived uni for the first time, it was already late in the afternoon, so nobody was in my new dorm when I got in (they were still having lectures). The portal who had directed me to the room gave me the spare key to unlock the door so I’d unpack my stuff and settle. It was great for me actually because I realized I was anxious and didn’t want anyone watch me unpack my things. I was pretty much done before they started to come in, one by one. They were kind and welcomed me with open arms but I wasn’t really friends with them until weeks later.

Where I made actual friends was in my department. On my first day (for lectures), I made a friend. It was a guy who was seated beside me for lectures, he noticed I was new and offered me his note to catch up. That was really so kind of him. We’re still friends till this day but not as close as we were back then. I’m not as close as I was with people I became friends with during my first week actually. It’s only about 3 people out of the 7 or so people, that I still talk with, on a not so constant basis.

I became best friends with two girls a month later and it was probably because we were in the same hostel, one was in my dorm, the other wasn’t. The first time I talked, like actually talked to either of them, when we were both alone, there was an instant connection. I became chatty like I normally would around my old friends and we got along pretty well. I started hanging out with them, a whole lot than necessary.

They had other friends too and I did hang out with them but it didn’t feel the same like when I was with both of them. Does it make sense? Even though we didn’t share the same hostels and rooms later on, we still made out time to hang out. Friends of them became friends of mine and friends of mine, which aren’t that much lol, became friends of theirs and that’s how I became friends with beautiful amazing people.

I wasn’t really expecting anything much on this part actually but I’m thankful to have met people who’re not exactly like me but still get and understand me. I didn’t feel any pressure to be someone else around these people and it says alot about them than it does about me. I don’t think making friends in uni should be hard. You just have to keep an open mind and be yourself (cliché I know but it works).

And maybe it’s me and I was just lucky but it really isn’t that necessary to be out and about before you find a bestie or partner in crime lol. Oh, and I didn’t see this wrong crowd I kept hearing about, before uni. Everyone has a group of people they’d rather move with, and I don’t think there’s any wrong crowd. There isn’t any right crowd either. There are just crowds and it’s up to you to decide which one is best for you.

On Socialization and Parties

Image from Pinterest

I was low-key anticipating this part. Meeting new people that would bring out the extroverted me who’d do cool, fun stuff normal people did. Honestly, I thought I was going to change but I so obviously didn’t. I may have grown in some areas but parties are still not my scene and socializing still gives me anxiety ( and I think it even got worse). Normally, back in secondary school, the pep talks used to work, I think but they don’t anymore. I go mute when I meeting someone in an event or when I have to give presentations. Besides the weekends, which I’m always looking forward to, after 5 days of having lectures from morning to late in the afternoon or early in the evening, there was hardly any time, on my part, to socialize.

After lectures, if my friends (the two girls) were busy or hanging out with people I felt I wouldn’t blend in with, I’d walk to my hostel, buying food on my way. When I got in, I’d eat and then sleep off. Most times, I didn’t even take off my clothes, that’s how tired I was. Other days, I’d just be up but tired and not feeling any need to socialize because I honestly didn’t see any reason to. Sure enough, it’s always about building connections and business partners but it’s honestly so draining and I must have been out of my mind to think I could handle it.

As for parties, the first one I heard about was the freshers party. Of course I’d hear about that one, why wouldn’t I? I was in my room that night when someone called me and asked where I was. Confused, I said I was in my room and then he asked why I wasn’t there. There? Where was there? At the faculty, he said. There was a party going on, for first years. I was quite for a minute then I said I’d be there. Mind you, this was around the first few weeks and I was super pumped and wanted give myself a try at parties again.

When I reached the faculty, there was loud music everywhere and I could see people dancing. I saw some of my friends and talked with them for a bit but I couldn’t stay long. The noise was too much and I didn’t feel comfortable plus I was in my pajamas. Lmao. I told them goodbye and walked back to the hostel. That was when I knew I was never going to be a party person (unless it constitutes my friends and not more than 10 people). More parties were heard, in places I’d never heard of and I missed all of them. The only type of gathering I liked was the one for movies. We had movie nights some times and if I wasn’t doing anything, I’d attend them because I love movies. They were fun and funny sometimes.

My best friends aren’t really the party types either but they hang out with some of their other friends sometimes and it’s a lot fun than a party I bet. I’d been to one of the hangouts and I didn’t regret it. We were just 6 or 7, I think. We went out to eat pizza and ice cream and talk about stuff. That was the night I fell in love with pizza after 4/5 times trying it and not liking it. The pizza at that place was so good, we ordered another box.

I don’t know if it’s a thing in other schools but faculties/departments/churches/clubs hold a dinner party once a year, at least. I attended my department’s own but I wasn’t really present. I spend half the night outside, talking with one person and when it was time to go, I tagged along with a friend. For my second year dinner, I intentionally got drunk because I thought I’d be fun and be talkative. It didn’t work. Instead, I became more quite and slept through the night. At least, I was too drunk to have minded the noise.

On Relationships

Amy Faye and Amelia Faye for Lurve Magazine

People look forward to this part so much and I guess I’d have too if I wasn’t dating someone before I got into uni. Sadly, it was long distance and while he came over to see me sometimes, it couldn’t work. He was incredibly worried that we weren’t constantly talking anymore and I was feeling guilty that things weren’t working and was harboring feelings for other people.

The guilt, on top of the emotional stress and everything was too much to bear so halfway through my 2nd semester, I decided I’d break up with him when I got back home. Harsh, right? Looking back now, I think it was for the best. I cried for 2 weeks straight after and wanted to call and apologize but thank God for internet addiction (sigh). We’re still friends and have both moved on.

So, before the break up, I turned down the 3 boys (who managed to notice my existence) who asked me out. Looking back now, I’d do it again because 1: I felt we weren’t compatible and 2: I enjoy being alone too much and honestly didn’t want any of that relationship stress. I did like a few people but when your gut instincts tell you that they wouldn’t be right for you, they really wouldn’t be right for you. My only advise here would be not to ignore red flags. That’s all. You’d know them when you see/sense them. Your gut instinct doesn’t lie.

I didn’t get to cram up everything I wanted to but these parts are essentially summarized. Before uni, I was so excited for change and new experiences, while I’ve grown and changed (and still growing and changing), I’m not so different from who I was before I got in. The pressure I felt before uni disappeared as soon as I got in, I think it was because it felt like being in a boarding school again, just with fewer restrictions and enough freedom (which I didn’t use, apparently). People weren’t as judgemental as I thought before.

Sure enough, there’d be gossip here and there but people actually do mind their business unless you’re a class topper, then you’re everybody’s business. My classmates are always telling the class toppers to calm down and give us a break, lol.

If I narrated this to someone who’d had spent their first year going to the best of the best parties and hanging out or attending social events and so on, they’d probably tell me that I’ve missed out on something I can never get back and that’s okay. I know a few people who have the same experiences as mine and I know quite alot who don’t. Bottom line is everyone’s experience is going to be different and just because you’re an introvert or somebody who gets overwhelmed by socializing and loves being alone doesn’t mean that you won’t have any good time at uni. You’re going to meet people who’d get you, I hope you do. You’re also going to have fun, in the type of way that suits you and if you want love, you’d get it too but look out for red flags and listen to your gut instincts.

I’d upload another part to this post, talking about accommodation, finances and academics. Let me know if you’re up for it. I’d love to answer questions, if you have any.

What prompted me to write this post was a question tag I’d seen on Instagram talking about uni and being anxious, early this month. I know there are introverts who are going to be starting uni anytime soon. I want you to know that there’s actually nothing to be afraid of. You’re going to do just fine :). I hope this post convinces you.

What was your first year in uni like? Are you nervous about starting? What do you think it’d be like? Let me know!

Have a lovely week.

Thank you for reading.

Stay Safe.


  1. Wow this felt like I was reading a memoir or something 😅 I enjoyed reading this so much, mostly because I so relate. The first friend I made was a guy who sat besides me too. I never did really manage to make a lot of friends at university honestly, am still at uni and I talk to like 3 or 5 people out of the whole class and we never really do hung out. I hate parties too and I have attended like one or two since my 1st year, my first one being the fresher’s party of course 😅
    This was a beautiful read, and please keep them coming❤️

    Liked by 3 people

    1. I didn’t make much friends after first year and just stuck with the ones from my first year and it looks like it’ll be that way till I graudate. Thankfor reading!


  2. I totally hate parties too. The noise is simply not just for me. I attended one in my first year and I knew I’d never be attending any again.

    I enjoyed reading this!!!

    Liked by 3 people

  3. This is an awesome post! I took my time while reading it and it made me smile! Yes, it’s true being an introvert doesn’t mean that you can’t have fun. it’s just a different type of fun. I’m an ambivert and sometimes I want to cry my eyes out whenever I’m awkward or something. Thing is, when you’re having anxiety for this, I literally ruined my time running away. My friend was talking a lot and I talk a lot to people as well but something about that day made me feel like they like her more coz she’s more fun and all that. You get me? Probably not, but it’s okay. Sometimes you can have sad days and it doesn’t have anything to do with an ‘OH! You’re an introvert so you won’t come right.’ EHEHEHE no. 😑 I don’t want to do that anymore. I don’t what the hell I’m blabbing about, so I’m very sorry about that. That’s awesome that you found friends that understand you! *starts regretting what she wrote* Um…I’m sorry, this isn’t even related to this post, I think but nevertheless I wrote about it, I dunno what’s wrong with me.😂 Lovely post, again! x

    Liked by 2 people

    1. I enjoyed your little rant and trust me, I can relate sometimes lol. But I’ve reached a point in my life where I don’t care if anyone perceives me different because I’m an introvert and would rather stay quiet during conversations. I used to feel bad about it but I’ve come to realize that it may be all in my head and try to say something, if I’m given the opportunity to, of course. If not I just remain silent.
      Glad you shared your inner thoughts with me and thank you for reading.


  4. I admire all of you who made friends in your first year of uni because I did not. I already had a friend from secondary school so it was convenient to just remain in my comfort zone with her.
    And I totally don’t like parties. It’s not my scene at all.

    Liked by 3 people

    1. I think it’s nice you had someone around you at that time, whether from secondary school or uni. Haha, I agree. I tried going for one again in my final year and I regretted it after.


  5. I loved your post, am sure you will find people who are just like you or those who clearly understand you going ahead and you will become good friends. I was very happy to find a friend who was like me and I was glad she was my roomie too in hostel during my college days. We are still in touch even though staying in different countries. 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Thank you for your kind words. I do hope to be in touch with my friends after we graduate and go our separate ways, too. I’m glad you’re still in touch with yours.


  6. Wow your first year was soooo similar to mine. I am quite introverted as well and I have social anxiety too so parties I soon realised were not my scene either. I was in a few relationships but none of them worked out mostly because one was long distance and with the others I felt like they were suffocating me and I needed my space.

    Liked by 2 people

  7. My first year in uni was just awkward, man. I had not the faintest clue how to make friends but I eventually made a couple I’m still tight with. Never went to any of the parties, because it seemed like a waste of time and I have no regrets in that area lmao. Great post xo

    Liked by 2 people

    1. I have no regrets for the many parties I missed after too lol. I’m still pretty tight with my first year friends as well and I hope we continue to be after graduate. Thank you for reading.


  8. Heyyy wow this was a really interesting post thanks for sharing your experience. I’m about to start uni and I am really nervous about it but reading your story has helped calm my nerves a little. Thanks for sharing ☺️💕

    Liked by 1 person

  9. Hey Ada, your writeup resonates with me a lot.

    Before getting into uni, I had no nervousness per se and I was very expectant however, when I got in especially after changing schools (I switched between two universities in the first few months in my first year). Everything went downward from there.

    In my first year, my course mates basically formed themselves into groups and there were rivals in class. Students refused to speak to one another unless they were in the same group… lol and some persons were looked down on.

    The thing is, I made up my mind to not lick anyone’s feet in order to foster a relationship and in the following years, I made a few good friends and I wasn’t as quiet as I was initially.

    Funny story is after graduation, I had the choice of continuing with my masters in the school but my friends and I ditched the idea because of how toxic that place was.

    NYSC was a breakthrough for me because I met people who engaged with me on the same level. We had incredible conversations and had loads of fun.

    I don’t think having many friends is necessarily the way to go. In my case, having a few people who get you and understand you is all that you need.

    Cheers Ada!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. That must have been an unsettling experience for a fresher in uni. I thought such things happened only in secondary school.

      It’s nice you didn’t give into the pressure and made friends with like minded people.

      I don’t plan to do my masters in my school after graduation too because the academic aspect was overwhelming for me too. I hope it works out because I don’t have many options because my parents are adamant do it there.

      I’m always hearing about good stories from people who’ve done their NYSC and some of my friends who’re introverts have mentioned that they managed to meet their kinds as well.

      I agree with you. I can’t comprehend having too many people in my life who don’t understand or get me.

      Thanks for readug and sharing your story!

      Have a nice day.


  10. First year of uni was really similar for me- I didn’t make any friends straight away because of the way my halls were set up (our kitchen was so tiny and I was way too introverted to attempt to enter the bigger kitchen on our floor). Saying that, I always loved a good ol party lol!
    Really enjoyed reading this post!

    Liked by 1 person

  11. Please talk about finances 😭😭😭seriously interested in knowing how other people like me(young)spend their money cos I never seem to get it together.
    When you see this comment ,talk about it next please 😩

    Liked by 1 person

  12. Also, I’m not nearly as introverted as you are but Omo my first year in uni was sooooo weird! I don’t stay in the dorm and when I got to my apartment I didn’t know how to socialize with my neighbors omg! I was lowkey terrified but they were so nice to me,came and knocked on my door and invited me for dinner in one of their rooms.
    Freshers party: I went there with my now ex friends only to sit around and eat oily donut and zobo(Two of my worst things) I didn’t enjoy my self,was awkward the whole night and I now came out of the hall looking for how to get home,all the bikes has retired for the night.
    Friends:I made two friends at first but then we weren’t compatible so we grew apart,made another two friends who I now thought would be with me till the end,we got into a big argument and I even got beat up sef Lmaooo!
    After that,I just stayed on my own and let everything meant for me naturally gravitate towards me(money,friends,a social life etc)

    Liked by 1 person

    1. You went through a lot, wow. I’m sorry you had to go through all that and getting beat up in a whole uni? That must have been traumatizing for you.
      I think the way you handled it later on was right because I’d have done the same thing as well.
      I don’t force friendships but I’ve been lucky enough to meet people who understand me and I, them.
      I hope you have people in your life now that you’re still friends with and if not, I hope you’re doing okay and that things are working out for you.
      Thank you so much for reading and sharing your experience.


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